Embracing Sleep (or the lack of!)

I am learning to embrace every season and day no matter what it looks like. Right now it feels like our days revolve around Brooklyn’s sleep (or the lack of it haha). When she was first born she would sleep ALL the time! It was so much different than what we went through with Avery and I thought hey maybe this one will be a great sleeper! Then she hit about 2 months old and would NOT sleep! She didn’t want to be put down and could run off of 10 minute power naps. Then it started to get better and she would take a 2 hour nap in the morning every single day! But she then started to wake up at 8pm and didn’t act tired at all until around 10pm. Then just a few weeks ago her nighttime sleep was getting better and she would fall asleep by 7pm and then wake up just to nurse real quick at 10pm, 2am and 4am. But as we were able to kick the late night awake time we lost the long morning naps. She occasionally gets in a long good nap but mostly it’s 30-40 minutes. Which isn’t that bad but I can tell that she’s cranky and still tired sometimes.
On top of her random nap schedule she started to roll onto her tummy to sleep! Talk about a stressed out Mama! Avery slept on her tummy ever since she was 5 months old but for some reason Brooklyn seems so much more like a baby to me and that she shouldn’t be doing that. I’m always worried about her not getting enough air to breathe! So far she’s been ok but I feel like I wake up several times to just check on her. Before she started rolling over in her bed we tried putting her in her room for a few nights but now that she rolls I like to see her right next to me.
So as you can see we talk and think a lot about Brooklyn’s sleep! When I was trying to force things I thought I was supposed to do like have her in her own room and let her cry it out at night I was actually way more stressed out. I didn’t do that with Avery and to me it just doesn’t feel right. Most people will strongly disagree with me and I’m happy for people that can do those things because they are probably getting better sleep haha. But I’d much rather have less sleep and be at peace in my mind. It’s tiring but I don’t mind it. I would be a lot more stressed out if Brooklyn was crying herself to sleep every night.
Our night time routine does take a little longer because I nurse Brooklyn to sleep and massage Avery until she falls asleep but that’s my special time with them. Brooklyn can fall asleep on her own during the day and sometimes actually pushes me away like she wants to lay down on her own and I’m happy for that! That’s probably one of the reasons I’m ok with giving her the extra comfort she needs at night. Our night time routine always felt right but I thought I was doing it wrong because of how most people do bedtimes. If I take away what society thinks sleep for kids at certain ages should look like I don’t mind getting up with Brooklyn’s sleep patterns. Yes it’s exhausting but as her mother I would do anything for her and I don’t mind sacrificing my sleep for her. I love that I can be her comfort when she needs it. And whenever she does wake up at night if she just needs to get comfy she falls right back to sleep but if she is hungry she will fuss until I nurse her. I’ve finally realized that the way I do things works best for my kids and ultimately that’s all that matters! So however you do parenting if it works best for your kids then way to go!!
Parenting is full of exhaustion, second guessing yourself, more love than you ever thought possible and sooo much fun!!!

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