Mom and Dad, I think it’s time I move out

Avery decided that it was time to move out of our bed and into her big girl bed. After our baby monitor had a glitch I thought it was a good time to start adjusting Avery to sleep in her crib especially for naps when I am not laying next to her. I was really worried because she used to hate her bed but all of a sudden she loved it and was so excited for nap time! I think it’s mostly because she is obsessed with ruff ruffs (dogs) and we have a huge stuffed dog that was Josh’s that is in her bed. So she gets excited to take the ruff ruff off the bed and sleep in the ruff ruff bed. But whatever the reason is I am very proud of her for sleeping in there! And then all of a sudden I was getting our bed ready for her to sleep in one night and she said ruff ruff bed! At first I was worried because she wakes up at night to nurse and if she was in her bed (which is probably 10 feet away) she wouldn’t know where I was. So we moved her toddler bed up next to our bed and at night when she wakes up I go down there and nurse her. The first night she did amazing! I was worried about her sleeping in her bed at night but I think part of it was me wanting her sleeping next to Josh and I. I loved cuddling her and being able to open my eyes and see my sweet sleeping baby. But one day she decided that she was moving out of our bed and ever since then she has slept in her bed for naps and nights. It’s actually been a really great thing for our family! We all sleep a lot better and now I get to look down to my left and see Avery sleeping in her bed and when I look to my right I see my amazing husband sleeping. And now it’s a treat when we go to trips because Avery gets to sleep in our bed with us. I love that Avery chose when to move to her bed and that it was a very smooth transition. I guess I have to realize that she’s growing up and getting more independent! She continues to make us smile and proud each and every day!

Worry doesn’t come from God

God never wants us to worry! He put himself in control for a reason. Because we can’t handle even an ounce of what he does. I used to think that I could handle everything but that caused me to constantly worry. Hearing about the threats for New York and what happened to Paris sent a lot of worry and fear in me. We are going to New York on Thursday for a week and we are going to be traveling around Europe for 2 months in March and knowing all these bad things happened made me scared to go anywhere. After some wise words from a couple people I realized that I had nothing to worry about. I can’t be sure that nothing is going to ever happen to me and my family but I can be sure that God is on my side. Not traveling would have meant that fear won and it would continue to hold me back if I let it. There can’t be fear where faith is so I have to have faith in God. And when I have full faith in him my fear and worry will be gone. Isaiah 41:10 says “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Just reading this gave my mind so much peace! Why was I worrying about all the things that can go wrong when I have a God who is standing by my side and always looking out for me! I can’t have my eye on Avery 24 hours a day. I have to eventually sleep and trust that God does a way better job watching out for Avery than I could. He wants to take the worry off of me and I need to let him. This isn’t very easy because I’m still trying to figure out what it looks like to give all my worries to God but I have taken a step in the right direction by digging deeper in my bible. Reading what the bible says about fear and worry really shows me I have nothing I need to worry about. I can’t stop things that are going to happen so worrying about them doesn’t do me any good. I want to teach Avery what it means to give it all to God and I want her not to worry. This experience has actually brought me a lot closer to God and he has helped me learn things that I know will be important to tell Avery. We don’t need to worry because worry doesn’t come from God!

Dear Avery Grace

Dear Avery,

The world we live in isn’t as sweet and innocent as you, although I wish it was. I don’t want the world to destroy your innocence. I don’t want your heart to be broken by the things happening around you. As your mother I want to protect you from all bad things. I want you to always be safe and cared for. I don’t want you to be scared, worried or sad. I wish I could keep you in a bubble forever because I know letting you out into the world you’ll see and hear things you wish you wouldn’t have. After reading about what happened in Paris my heart sunk. Innocent children died for no reason and as a mother that brought me to tears. I know it’s impossible to keep you away from all evil around but I wish I could. You have so much light and love and I want people to be changed by that. I used to worry all of the time about bad things that could happen but one day I read the saying “let go and let God”. Something I’ve read many times before but didn’t really think about what it meant. Once I did I realized that’s all I have to do. There is no possible way I can keep you away from everything bad in the world. I do my best to protect your eyes, ears and heart but ultimately I really do just have to let go and let God. I have faith that he is going to take care of you and also take care of Daddy and I as your parents. He’s going to teach us how to be the best parents we can be to you and help you along in this world. I still get worried sometimes because I always want you to be safe and protected but I have to leave it in God’s hands and just do the best that I can for you. I love you with all my heart.

Don’t rely on your baby monitor!

Just a ¬†few minutes ago Avery was napping in our bed and I heard her yawn. So I looked down at the baby monitor and she wasn’t moving at all. I thought that was weird so I went upstairs to check on her. When I walked in the room Avery was moving around and I looked down at the baby monitor and it still was on the same photo of Avery sleeping. I tried turning the baby monitor off, changing the volume and moving the camera but it was frozen. Continue reading

Our Reality


When you start off marriage with a child things are a lot different. There is still romance but you have to take in account that there is a little human that depends on you too. During our wedding reception we had Avery in a high chair in the middle of us and I was feeding her dinner as I was eating. Having a sippy cup on the Bride and Groom table doesn’t normally happen at weddings but that’s our reality. The night of our wedding we had to come home because Avery wasn’t falling back to sleep and she needed me. Luckily we were only about 3 miles away and we had no problem coming home because we knew Avery needed us. Starting marriage off with Avery we had to give up some of the normal married things but she has made things absolutely wonderful! Continue reading

Dreading Nights

These past few weeks nights have been very difficult. When I started weaning Avery it was going great. She was taking it good and falling asleep without having to be nursed. Then all of a sudden I feel like we took 5 steps back. Lately the only way I am able to get Avery to sleep is by nursing and even nursing her to sleep is taking longer than it used to. She also wakes up numerous times during the night and the only way I can calm her down and get her back to sleep is if I nurse her. I am so careful when I get in and out of bed so that I don’t wake her but even before I fall asleep she wakes up needing to nurse. I don’t want to dread nights I want to love them! I want to be able to cuddle Josh and Avery and have us all have a great night sleep. I am feeling very discouraged right now and I feel like I am not able to meet Avery’s needs at night or help her to stay asleep. I feel awful that she’s not sleeping through the night and that I’m cranky sometimes because of it. I very much need a good night sleep especially to be the mom that I want to be for Avery. I have tried everything I can think of to calm her down and get her back to sleep without nursing or to at least sleep through the night but nothing has worked so far. I am not one to let Avery cry it out but if anyone has any other ideas I’d love to hear them! I will continue to do the best that I can do for her and it may mean nursing her to sleep longer than I planned but I’m hoping a full nights sleep is going to come soon! At least during the day she’s an angel! Thank goodness I love Avery more than words can say and would do anything for her!