Change is never easy

Parenting comes with no instruction manual. There are a million ways to parent! There are tons of things that will work for your child and tons of things that don’t. I planned on nursing Avery until she was a year at least but I didn’t expect that the only way she would be able to fall asleep would be me nursing her. She doesn’t like blankets, bottles, pacifiers or special stuffed animals so the thing that would almost always put her to sleep would be me nursing her. Sometimes she will fall asleep in her car seat, the stroller or on an airplane watching a show but if we are at home I can’t just lay her in her bed and tell her to go to sleep. I have never been the parent that lets Avery cry it out because that doesn’t work for us. She just ends up getting more and more upset and then she is wide awake. I love nursing Avery but I want to get to a point where I can put her to bed without nursing. I also want her to be able to sleep through the night without waking up to nurse multiple times. She used to sleep through the night great but the past couple weeks she will wake up many times and continue to say “momma momma momma” until I nurse her. It will benefit Josh, Avery and myself if sleeping through the night becomes a regular thing for her. But I was scared to start weaning her because I didn’t know how she was going to react to it. I didn’t want to lose that special bond I have with her or her decide after she stops nursing she no longer wants or needs my cuddles. The other day I told myself that was the day that I would start weaning Avery to be able to fall asleep on her own. I couldn’t keep being scared and putting it off. So that afternoon I took her on a long walk and after 45 minutes of walking she fell asleep. All I could think was Victory! Thank you God! I didn’t want to dare moving her from the stroller so the stroller sat in our entryway until Avery woke up an hour later. Then the night came. I did nurse her to sleep because if I didn’t I would explode! And She went to sleep great! But then a little while later when I was going to bed Avery woke back up and wanted to nurse. I stayed strong and after an hour of cuddles, songs, rocking, massages, and watching the fan go around and around she finally went back to bed. 2 hours later she was up again but the good news was after some cuddles and massages she was right back to bed. Then at 3am Avery was up again! I tried massaging her and quietly talking to her but I could tell that my milk needed to go somewhere because Avery normally was nursing all these times at night so I nursed her. After I nursed her she still wasn’t asleep so I massaged her some more and finally she went back to bed. I am starting to understand why I have bags every morning! When I woke up the next morning with her at 7:45 I was ready to go back to bed! But as a mommy when you are tired you just get over it and go downstairs to make your baby some breakfast. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to calm Avery down without nursing but that night it went better than I expected. I absolutely love nursing but I’ll also be glad to comfort Avery to bed in other ways besides it. I will always want and need Avery’s loves and I found that even without nursing Avery wants and needs my loves too. Wish us luck as we continue on this path to good sleep and growing up!

3 thoughts on “Change is never easy

  1. Nothing, and I mean nothing, was harder (still is) on me than fatigue. That is the hardest part of being a parent (for me). Try and take a few mommy breaks here and there (even if Stephanie is in town, go grab a tea alone…it will re-energize you to want to get back to Avery, or grab a dessert w/Josh, and talk to/about each other, or sports!!!! …again, absence makes that mommy heart grow fonder! And a multivitamin. Even if not for the health of Avery, the extra well rounded nutrients will help with the tired. Last but not least…it’ll get easier, and you’ll be rested soon (until you have another baby that is!!!). In the meantime, grab a cup of coffee! Need me to send you some of that home town Seattle Starbucks?!?! Maybe you can fly here for a coffee date with me!!!! Just a thought. ๐Ÿ™‚

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